Uh oh

Yesterday I experienced that peculiar feeling you get when something somewhere has gone terribly wrong. I was walking home having just bumped into the Party Chair. We had a nice chat about the doomed Leyton by-election as we hurried along a freezing late night Hoe Street. As we said our goodbyes and I turned into my street I felt an unmistakable absence. There was a massive car shaped hole when the trusted Ford Focus had been sitting the day before.

Balls - it's been nicked. And even worse - given that I can't find the car key - I suspect it was pretty easy for the perpetrator to do it. Double balls! And that probably means the insurance won't pay out. Quadruple balls with an extra helping of balls!

Being a good Labour boy I am generally of a fairly liberal nature when it comes to crime and punishment. But when something happens to ME ME ME I suddenly turn into a raging Tory. It exposes a level of hypocrisy in me which lies dormant, hidden behind my Guardian lite views. But today I want the bastard flogged in the town square, and then dragged through Walthamstow village naked to be jeered at by the locals.